Soulmates - What is it all about?

Lately, I've been thinking about the people in my life that have touched me and continue to do so. Some of these people have had profound affects on me. I decided to post something about my current understanding of the idea of soulmates.

I can remember as long back as my teenage years believing in the existence of soulmates. The very word soulmate stirs something deep and eternal in me. Lately, I stumbled upon a book "Destiny of Souls" which explains more in depth about soulmates and piggybacks on the book "Journey of Souls", both written by Michael Newton, PH.D. In both of these books, Michael Newton takes his clients back into past events through hypnotherapy. What he discovered was a consistency among his clients of experiences on the spiritual plane, the time between lives here on earth. On this plane of existence there exists soulmates just as there does on earth. Soulmate doesn't always mean a relationship of romantic love. It can be one of a parent, sibling, friend..even a perfect stranger you never see again but were left with something that you needed to experience to facilitate you getting "unstuck". As Michael explains, there are different classifications of soulmates. He developed the following classifications illustrated in his book "Destiny of Souls" based on his many years of exposure to souls in the spirit world. I've recapped them below.

Primary Soulmates: These are soulmates that are more often than not closely bonded partners. The partnership may be a spouse, sibling, best friend, or parent. No other soul is more important to us than a primary soulmate. One feels their own existence enriched beyond measure when with their primary soulmate.

Companion Soulmates: These are souls from our primary cluster group on the spiritual plane. They are our soul companions. The differences and talents compliment ours. Within this cluster group there is usually an inner circle of souls who are especially close to us and play important support roles in our lives. We do the same for them.

Affiliated Souls: This pertains to members of secondary groups outside our own primary cluster but located in the same general spiritual vicinity. Certain affiliated souls in other groups may be selected to work with us and with whom we come to know over many lives. Others may only cross our path briefly. Here is an example from "Destiny of Souls":

I was walking alone on a beach, totally devastated after being fired from my job. A man appeared and we struck up a conversation. I did not know him and was never to see him again in that life. But that afternoon he came up to me with ease and we talked. I felt myself unloading my problems on this stranger. He calmed me down and gave me greater perspective of my job situation. After about an hour he was gone. Now I see he was an acquaintance in the spirit world from another group. It was no accident we bumped into each other that day. He was sent to me.

I think most people can identify soul connections. I also believe that one can identify their own primary soulmate if they've met them in this current incarnation. I know I can and have. First off, I believe there is always a mental connection of one sort or the other with a soulmate, no matter the role they play. I believe if the role being played is that of a romantic partner then it starts with a friendship that has caught fire. I don't believe that a deep love can thrive without an abiding friendship. Infatuation is different and comes from a superficial area where one has nagging doubts about whether the connection has any deep meaning. Intimacy suffers without trust and love cannot grow. Love is the acceptance of all the imperfections of our partners.

I know that I've equated love with happiness. I'm reminded that happiness is a state of mind. It has to develop within me and not be dependent on anyone else. Love takes work and requires continual maintenance and mindfulness. Too many times I've seen where people have ended relationships because they've became "hard". It's quite possible to have met one's primary soulmate in the arena of love only to have let it go because we found it too difficult to "tend to the garden". Sometimes we don't meet our primary soulmate until later in life. Perhaps we needed to grow on our own. I think this has been true with me.

I think we learn valuable lessons from broken relationships. I've begun to liberate myself from the sadness of not finding the "right" love by understanding that I may be here to learn other lessons. At the very least, I believe there have been lessons that I needed to learn first. I've never been one to connect with someone I have no feelings for just so that I'm not alone. That has always struck me as a recipe for more loneliness. There is a line from a song that goes like this: "Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe". That is what it reminds me of...kind of like love at any price. I believe if one's soulmate is to appear then he/she will and most often when one doesn't expect it. It's kind of a tricky dance of being awake and aware but not obsessed with the possibility, after all "a watched pot never boils".

I believe I've met one or two primary soulmates. I believe there was romantic love in some cases but the timing was not conducive to that. What did happen was I learned lessons about myself that propelled me forward. One of the most valuable lessons is to be the love that I desire...indeed be all the qualities of another I desire. This has truly been a gift.

If you'd like to read more about soulmates and much more about case studies of lives between lives then I invite you to read "Destiny of Souls" and "Journey of Souls". You can order them from this blog by clicking on the titles above which will take you to my Amazon store where you can order them. It doesn't matter whether or not you believe in the validity of any of it because it is a fascinating read regardless.

I will leave you with this beautiful song by Dead Can Dance called "Sanvean" (I am your shadow). It shows the innate beauty of life and what keeps me hopeful.

Peace and Love,
Stephen

Relationships - What Do We Really Think We Deserve?

I haven't posted anything on this blog for almost 2 months to the day. During that time I've been taking a conscious inventory of the relationships in my life. My primary focus has been on my relationships of the romantic kind but I soon saw similarities in those of the platonic kind as well.

For me, the primary theme throughout my investigation is that of self-worth. The question has boiled down to "What do I think I deserve in a relationship?" I have known that I struggle with issues of self-worth so this wasn't exactly a revelation. What was surprising though was how prevalent, consistent, and deep that runs in all my relationships whether they are platonic or romantic in nature. Upon talking with people that stay in dysfunctional relationships, I have found that it has boiled down to a "mental equivalent" of what one thinks they deserve...what kind of relationship...what does it look like and feel like. Is the mental equivalent fulfilling? Does it build you up? Do you feel supported, encouraged to be the best person you are ready to be, honored, cared for, and loved? Do you feel balance in the relationship? I realized I have stayed in friendships and "love"ships when they have not had much if any of the qualities aforementioned. At the end of the day, no one held a gun to my head to force me to stay in them. I stayed because just below the surface it felt safe to stay in something I knew versus being by myself, alone with my feelings. The feelings consist of worthiness at it's core. My mental equivalent did not support my desires of a relationship with another where I felt supported, encouraged, honored, cared for, and truly loved. I realized that until I could get my mental equivalent in line with my intention of a relationship then I was forever going to miss the mark. I may be fooled sometimes at getting closer to it but that's it.

So, my mental equivalent in a relationship is one of passion, mutual respect, encouragement, support, mutual attraction, a healthy physical connection, mutual growth, healthy communication, caring, and deep love for each other. I imagine myself as a tall, solid tree. I am standing next to another tall, solid tree. Our branches intertwine with each other and all sorts of life is supported by our interconnection. What is key is that we stand strong on our own and don't need each other to continue to exist. Our individual roots go deep and are fully formed. Our beauty is fully expressed individually. Our connection supports the higher good for both. Neither robs the other of their dignity or ever contributes to either feeling less. All feel blessed in our presence.

I find experiences that support the feelings of the qualities I listed above so that I can feel it as I imagine my mental equivalent. I commit to taking a stand for what I desire and to prune that which does support my desire. I let go and let God. I know that I can reach out to people in my spiritual community to help me hold my intention. One of the things I've found to be most helpful is to be mindful to include myself around people that support my intention and to be selective about whom I share it with (ok..so this blog post kind of blew THAT out of the water!). Specifically, I don't want to surround myself around naysayers or those that are still on their path of negating any relationships based on their own experiences.

I am committed to reminding myself to be the qualities that I'm looking for in another, "be that which you desire". I remind myself that I have everything I need to attract that which I desire. My work on myself is to bring that which IS to the surface...to my consciousness. I need to believe first!

Here's a beautiful song called "The Promise" by one of my favorite groups; Secret Garden. The video features some awesome sunsets. Sunsets always get me in a powerfully reflective space. I especially love the first couple scenes of two separate trees. I see myself as one of these trees and knowing that there is another holding the same "mental equivalent" as me. The "promise" is that this is answered.



I invite you to look at your relationships especially if you know in your heart that they are not fulfilling. Perhaps they have taught you all need to know from them and it's time to create space for something new.

I bless everyone on their journey. May yours be one of Ease, Grace, and Abundance.

In Loving Kindness,
Stephen

Unconditional Love

As I'm exploring why I choose whom I give my feelings to through various workshops, tools, and other avenues, I'm reminded that unconditional love shows up everyday if we just take the time to notice and appreciate it. I've found that animals and children seem to just live and and have their entire beings in it. They come to me with their gifts all the time and give freely with no expectation of receiving anything back. Lately, I've really been paying attention to this love offering. As I focus on this love I am filled and reminded of my inherent goodness and of those around me. I want to share a beautiful, humbling experience I had a couple of weeks ago in a session of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) with my therapist's beautiful rescue greyhound, Mochi. Each time I arrive my therapist gives me a doggie treat to give to Mochi. She comes to me ever so cautiously and gently takes the treat from my hand. I stay still and calm so as not to spook her. Most greyhounds have experienced pretty severe abuse as race animals so they need to be handled with loving care. It was probably my third session. I arrived as usual and gave Mochi her treat. The difference was she didn't shy away as far and came up to me more than once to sniff and lick my hand. My therapist and I just stood there in awe as she's never done that before with anyone. As the session was over, Mochi made sure and said goodbye to me as if to reassure me that all is well and I'm fine. It's funny because as I was arriving for that session I sensed a shift in me. Here's a beautiful picture of Mochi which only barely does her justice. She's even more astounding in person (ok...so I'm a little smitten, LOL).


I think animals are a gift from the Universe (God, Spirit, etc). They offer their love so that we can learn how to love in an environment of patience and understanding, devoid of another's ego. I think the same is true of babies and to a lesser degree, young children. I say this because young children are beginning to discover their egos. Nonetheless, young children are also barometer's of love and a good measuring stick of the emotional health of those we introduce them to. My experience has been deep and soul stirring when I look in the eyes of babies and they reach their tiny little hands out to try and grasp my finger. It's a soul-to-soul moment that reminds me of things that are important in life. These moments convince me of an omnipotent, omnipresent Intelligence that goes by many names. It reminds me that I am a part of this just as everyone and everything else is. We are not alone! We have each other and when we connect with "someone special" in our lives it is a gift not to be taken lightly or for granted. It is something to nourish and be mindful of. Something to reinvest in and not to run from when the going seems to be rough.

Here is a beautiful piece by David Lanz, called "Christofori's Dream". I love the piece and the pictures remind me that nature also illustrates that Love shows up all over the place.




So I invite you to notice who and what loves you and how you respond to it. I think you may be surprised at what actually affects you in a healthy way and fills you up until you spill over...yeah baby!! I know I'm "loving" what I'm discovering.

Happy Loving to you,
Stephen

Synchronicity - Life As An Adventure

A while back in my life I embraced the belief in sychronicity, that "there are no accidents". If we take the time to review our life in intervals we can see where events are related to one another. Life isn't a game of chance. We can see how meeting a certain person opened the doors for a meeting with someone else which in turn landed us a job or the perfect realtor, or? We can use the same tool to see how we met our romantic partner or our best friend (hopefully, they are one in same). We can see how we bought the perfect car, etc. I think you get my point. The fun begins when you can look at your life like a big "Clue" game. If your mind insists on taking a turn as you're driving which leads you on a different way home or maybe even a way you don't know then trust and do it. Perhaps it allowed you to avoid severe traffic or an accident. Maybe you discovered a restaurant you wanted to visit or had heard of but didn't know the location. The gift of looking at life this way is that it requires us to be present and in the moment. It also gets us to practice faith. We make movement without having to know everything, how it's going to work, what does it all mean, etc. We actually "show up" for our life and become a conscious, active participant. Experiences become richer as we take the time to pay attention. We realize that life isn't a game of chance where we have no input but in actuality it's a giant playing board where the Universe is conspiring for our Good. Our job is to wake up and pay attention.

Here's a song, "Turn of a Friendly Card" by the Alan Parsons Project that I used to listen to in my late teens and early twenties while living in Germany. This was about the time I entertained the belief in sychronicity.



Here are a couple of quotes relating to sychronicity that I enjoy:

There is no such thing as chance; and what seem to us merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny.
Friedrich Schiller (1759 - 1805)

Coincidences are spiritual puns.
G.K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)

I invite you (if you aren't already) to pay attention to and take the opportunities to trust. Take the way home you never have before if your mind is telling you to, for example. Listen to the voice inside on these simple suggestions and go with it. See what happens, you may be surprised! I know I have been.

See you in the playground,
Stephen

Letting Go To Make Space

Yesterday I made the decision to let go of someone in my life. I did not make this decision lightly. It's taken me quite a while to muster up the courage. I dearly love this person but the situation has not been a healthy one for me. I've allowed whatever our relationship has been to affect my self-worth. It has affected other areas of my life as well. I've realized this for quite a while. My friends and family have told me to move on and logically it has made sense. Hell, I would have given them the same advice but I needed to make the decision on my own time. I've known that this person can't give me what I desire and even that which was given had been taken away recently. I'm reminded that my Higher Good has had no place to show up in my life because my focus has been on this person. I have felt stuck and have known that only I can make the change. It's been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I feel so deeply connected to this person but it's been too big of a price to for me to pay. I am hopeful that I can save the friendship once I've given myself time to heal.

I think we all have had some sort of situation, be it a person or a job, etc wherein we knew it wasn't good for us but we stayed. We stayed because there was a certain familiarity, a consistency if you will. We may have imagined leaving the situation but then we got scared. It's like the metaphor of the groundhog seeing it's shadow. Will it be frightened by it and crawl back into the comfort of the dark or step out fearlessly into the light, bright unknown? By the way, my birthday is on Groundhog's Day....go figure!

To be completely honest, I'm sitting with thoughts of regret and wondering if I was too rash. This is the time I call my support system of family and friends. These are the people that can truly see and hold the Highest Good for me. They remind me what a brave thing I've done and how much strength of character and courage it takes. I know that I'm demonstrating to the Universe that I will no longer accept less. I feel a bit like I'm finally "getting with the program". The challenge for me now is not to dwell on remorse. I know I will miss this person in my life but that's okay. It just reminds me how much I allow myself to feel and I think that's a good thing. I'm ready to be "unstuck"!

Here is a poem by Rumi that puts a smile on my face when I'm feeling sorrow. It reminds me of the power of Joy:

I saw Sorrow
holding a cup of pain.
I said, hey sorrow,
sorry to see you this way.
What's troubling you?
What's with the cup?
Sorrow said,
what else can I do?
All this Joy that you have brought to the world has killed my business completely.

Here is a video of the uber-talented Margaret Owens wherein she sings a song about letting go after a short skit and a song at the 5:21 minute mark under the "Epilogue". The epilogue song has a wonderful line in it that jolts me wide awake. The line is "the moment you serve your own heart is the moment you are free". Thank you Margaret!



So, I invite you to look at anything, large or small, that might be holding you back from your Greater Good yet to be. It's kind of like taking inventory except that there's no "right" count one has to arrive at. If you find something or have known that there's something then I support you 110% in your process of letting go. It doesn't matter that I may have never met you. I can hold the intention of the highest and best for anyone. I know how I feel right now and my empathy runs deep!

Blessing myself and all around me,
Stephen

Making Peace With The "Not Knowing"

It seems as if I'm going through many changes in my life...deep core changes that rock the soul. Throughout these storm surges is this uncomfortable feeling of not knowing how it's all going to turn out, not even one moment to the next. The "not knowing" became the subject for this post by sheer default.

I'm reminded of a passage from the book "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron;
When everything falls apart and we feel uncertainty, disappointment, shock, embarrassment, what's left is a mind that is clear, unbiased, and fresh. But we don't see that. Instead, we feel the queasiness and uncertainty of being in no-man's-land and enlarge the feeling and march it down the street with banners that proclaim how bad everything is. We knock on every door asking people to sign petitions until there is a whole army of people who agree with us that everything is wrong. We forget what we've learned through meditation and know to be true.

Emotions are part of our goodness of being alive but all too often we take and use them to regain our footing. We use them to regain security, predictability, and get things "real" again. We are at choice (where have I heard that before?!) and can choose to just sit with the emotional energy and let it pass. This is what I've been attempting to do all weekend. I went no where but instead sat at home pretty much alone. I felt the emotions like waves, some small and others seemingly overwhelming. It felt like standing on the ocean shore trying to maintain my footing as the waves crashed repeatedly. Sometimes I was knocked down but I got up again each time. I'm still here so I guess I've been successful thus far. I'm attempting to see the process as not an obstacle by observing it and making an effort to soften toward myself, to not beat myself up. I want to develop compassion for myself and in turn be more compassionate to others. This turns the sword of uncomfortable emotion into a flower. I think for me this is one of the biggest lessons.

Too often we all get complacent when we feel things are "good". Our job is great, our relationship strong and fulfilling, we are having a great hair day, etc. We seek this "perfection" which in itself is okay but we allow ourselves to forget that change happens or we vainly try to guard against it. We set ourselves up for failure because eventually we will have an experience we can't control: someone we love will die, our car may be stolen, we may lose our 401k, we may be diagnosed with a life threatening disease, etc. Sometimes the change rocks our security and we are left facing uncomfortable emotions to varying degrees. To be fully alive is to be continually "thrown out of the nest". We will have plateaus of respite and we are called not to take these for granted but to fully enjoy them. Be just as present in the good times as the challenging ones. Experience each moment as completely new and fresh no matter how it feels. To live fully is to be willing to "die" over and over again. Death is the desire to hold onto what one has and have every experience confirm, congratulate, and make one's self feel completely together. We want to be perfect but we keep seeing our imperfections. We can choose to make peace with the imperfections. By peace, I don't mean to not change them if that's our desire. We can make peace and still change them if we feel they are an obstacle to our spiritual growth. I believe attempting to run away is never the answer to being a fully human being. Running away from the immediacy of our experience is like preferring death to life.

So if you are facing uncomfortable emotions I invite you to not run from them or go into avoidance behavior mode but instead sit with them and observe how you feel. It may feel like waves. Be kind to yourself during the process. The more you are able to do this the less the emotions will control you. Pick up that heavy back breaking sword and turn it into "flower power"!

Here's a beautiful song by Secret Garden called "Prayer" that I enjoy listening to especially in challenging times.



Working through it myself,
Stephen

Making Room For My Greater Good

This post kind of piggybacks onto the post from yesterday, "Cleaning House". I think sometimes we can be so tied to an idea of what our Greater Good should look like that we become an obstacle for it to show up in our lives. Notice I said "what we think it should look like" and not what our Greater Good is. We can know what our Greater Good is but when we are so tied to a job, the place we live in, friends, lovers, etc. we think that these connections are it. We sense that things don't feel right but we stick it out anyhow, over and over again. Somehow we think that will change the situation. If we just hang in there, we will be happy and we will have that Joy in our lives more consistently. I believe what is actually happening is that we are telling the Universe that we are ok with the way things are. We experience it as being "stuck" or spinning our wheels and hoping if we just keep our foot on the gas pedal in the same ole car that we will eventually get the traction to propel us into all that we desire. In actuality we just get more mired down, frustrated, sad, and angry that we didn't even get that damned martyr award!

Here's a video of one my favorite singer/songwriters, Elton John performing "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me". I sing the hell out of this song...it's my signature karaoke song, LOL! I love the lyrics and they really speak to where I'm at on my journey in this moment of time.



I know that it takes courage to make changes in our lives especially when it involves feelings of love. When you feel you have a connection with someone that runs deep it can pull up all sorts of things to look at in one's self especially if it isn't a healthy situation. That is the opportunity presented. I know I continue to have a lot of opportunities in my life for self evaluation! So much so that I have coined the abbreviation: AFGO which cleverly stands for "Another F*cking Growth Opportunity", as a side note you can choose to substitute "Friggin" if that works better for you. I believe an outgrowth of this opportunity is to reach out to people that can support us in our prayers and intentions. Call in your prayer posse! Deputize them in the name of your Good! I believe there is power in numbers when it comes to praying and intending. I've seen the results and the speed in which it happens when my sangha has prayed for me.

So I invite you to reach out for support from the people you trust. If you feel that those people don't exist in your life then call a prayer line. I find that people naturally want to help others. It's a winning combination of you receiving support and others feeling good about themselves that they can make a difference. As you feel momentum in your life allow yourself to be available to others in support. It's a beautiful dance of humanity to be a part of and to witness!

Looking for my dancin' shoes,
Stephen

Cleaning "House"

I've been told that when one feels stuck a beneficial activity to do is to clean the house. Git rid of clutter, go through the closets, clean under the bed, vacuum, dust, throw the dead plants out, etc. It's a very feng shui thing to do. The energy in your home is able to flow easily again. Maybe that's why so many of us do a "spring cleaning" after the long winter of going "within". I'm reminded that "house" is also another word for consciousness. So, I've been looking at what is in my consciousness that is contributing to me feeling stuck. I find that I don't have a problem in naming the obstacles (hallelujah for that!) but my challenge is doing something about them, specifically cutting people and things lose from my life that aren't serving me anymore. It's especially difficult for me to let go of people that I care about and have feelings for, all the while knowing they can not give me what I desire and are probably a bit selfish getting what they need from me. Of course, I'm at choice and I'm allowing it so I don't want to come across in this post as if I'm blaming. There's obviously something I'm getting from them but I'm realizing now that the price is far too big to pay. Often it sucks the Joy right out of me leaving me hollow, sad, and lonely. This is not my natural state and not the way I want to live.

Ok...speaking of Joy, it's time for a humor break! Here's a fun, campy video called "Queen of The House" by Jody Miller.



I apologize for this post being so short and the overall tone but I'm literally in the middle of fear and frustration. I'm going toe-to-toe with God knowing something must change. My self worth is kickin' my butt right now. I feel caged and trapped with my emotions. I know it's necessary to sit with it but it's rough. I think some meditation time is in order and some prayer support.

Thanks so much to everyone who is reading my blog. I hope it helps to read it. I know it's beneficial for me to read my own words.

Here's the original version of "You Raise Me" Up by Secret Garden. I often take solace from this song knowing that everyone I encounter has the potential to raise me up to not more, but all I can be and I them.



Sitting in the storm and remembering this too shall pass,
Stephen

It's All About The Journey

I was thinking about this today as I was having a conversation with someone about their upcoming trip to Peru in the fall. We were specifically discussing the actual hike up to Machu Picchu. I began to have a vision of the actual hike. The full thought was it's all about the journey and not necessarily the destination. I expanded the thought to include things I have looked forward to in my life. I remember my grandmother trying to teach me this lesson when I was either seven or eight years old. I had been saving up my allowance from her to buy a little fold-out city for my matchbox cars. She was attempting to get me to enjoy the process of saving, the "journey" if you will. I think she was somewhat concerned that I was building up my excitement to the point where nothing would quite match it. I remember being excited right after I purchased it but then it wore off pretty quickly and I felt empty. I didn't know it then but my grandmother was spot-on. I now know I was missing the journey of working and saving for something. The "destination" could be a trip, a relationship, a new purchase, a job, etc. I think sometimes when we focus too much on the destination we inadvertently become a breeding ground for expectations. These expectations are often not met and we experience disappointment. The disappointment robs us from the full enjoyment of the destination. It feels anti-climatic, like it doesn't quite measure up. It's much like the dreams I've had while I was sleeping where I don't ever find the person or the place I'm looking for. I have glimpses and get very close but no cigar! For the record, I really dislike those dreams! If we focus more on the journey then we are placing ourselves in position to be present in the moment. You can't be present in the moment if you are focusing on the future (or past) at the same time. You actually miss out on the whole enchilada! I believe if we do too much of this then we are ripe to become jaded or cynical. That's a by-product that no "healthy" person wants to be around. We then become even more cynical and jaded. Especially if what we are desiring is a relationship. We began to have doubt that we will ever be happy. You can see how this can become quite the downward spiral.

I love the next song and video by Secret Garden. I see the man as one facet of me so focused on what he's looking for (the destination) and the peaceful, graceful woman as the other facet enjoying the journey, being present in every moment. Eventually the man becomes more present. I see this as a melding of my two facets.



There is another thing that I have to guard for even after I adjust my focus to my journey. That "thing" is comparing myself to others, specifically where I'm at on my journey. It's so easy for me to fall into that trap, especially around birthdays or New Years. When this happens I purposefully focus on being happy for the person or people I've begun to compare myself too. The comparison robs me of my Joy but being mindfully happy for someone else's happiness eventually brings the Joy back around to me. I was reminded of this today while I attended the 11am service at the Center For Spiritual Living in Seattle. Thank you Dr. Reverend Kathianne Lewis!. I haven't always been as successful as I've wanted to be but I practice at it nevertheless. I sense I'm getting better though. I find it helps to liberally sprinkle a healthy dose of "blessing" on it. Truthfully, when I'm stuck I bless the hell outta whatever/whomever it is that's got me stuck. A very wise and dear friend of mine gave me that pearl and she was right, it works!

I invite you to pay attention to your journey in the day(s) to come. Try one day at a time and check in with yourself. Before you know it you will have reached whatever destination you had intended but will be so much richer for having been present to the journey. I'm recommitting to paying attention to my journey daily.

Blessings on your travels,
Stephen

The Importance of Family

First off I want to state my belief that "family" is not just biological. Family can come in all forms. I have many friends that have created their own family whether it be because they are estranged from the biological relatives, there are no living relatives, they are adopted, or they just chose to expand their "family" regardless of a "blood" connection. I have an extended family of individuals I have known as a group since 2004. We meet in our "sangha" two times a month. We share what is going on with each other and ask for prayer support if we feel we need it. It is a sacred and comfortable environment. I am also close to my immediate family consisting of my mother, father, and sister. I am in contact with my uncle and aunt, cousins, nieces, and nephews. The wonderful thing about my sangha is that it doesn't come along with years of biological family dynamics. Some of these dynamics can be guilt, expectations, duty, etc. Now, I must say that I have great parents that have supported me in many ways. They are human and have their issues like all of us. What I never cease to marvel at is how I can still at times get caught up in their dynamics. When this happens I head straight to about 15 years old, directly pass "Go" and there ain't no $200 to collect! I've seen it happen with my friends and their families too. I confess that I like it much better when it happens to them though! I like to quote Ram Das, a Jewish mystic who said something to the effect: "If you think you're spiritually evolved, spend a week with your family". I'm convinced that should be a bumper stick if it isn't already!

Here is video of my mom and dad at my cousins house Christmas Day 2006. It clearly demonstrates their dynamic. They were not aware I was filming even though I was blatantly obvious. It starts off awfully slow but wait for the end near the five minute mark...it's worth it! I titled it "Everybody Loves Raymond Xmas 2006".



I think there are times in our life where we connect with a person very deeply. It often times isn't a romantic thing (though it can be...God willing, LOL). We feel as if we've known them before and we often say "You feel like family to me". If both choose then a "family" is begun. Perhaps we meet some more folks where there is that mutual connection and then the family is extended. Often times the feelings of estrangement result in the creation of new families. I've seen this many times and it is powerful. Holidays can bring this about as well. I know many people that open their homes up to others during Thanksgiving and Christmas on a regular basis. My grandparents were like that 24/7, all year long. I had so many people that I swore were my relatives growing up because of it. My grandmother never met a stranger. She was/is a powerful influence on me.

A "family" can support us in times of struggle. They can teach us love, compassion, patience, creation of boundaries, integrity, commitment,forgiveness, etc. They remind us of our connection to each other as humans and that we are not alone. My sister and I are particularly close although we live half way across the country from each other. She has taught me so much and continues to do so even though I'm the older brother by five years. She has taught me the importance of stepping out in faith and living in integrity. My mom and dad have shown me unconditional love that has brought me to tears. I have a close friend who has reminded me the importance of family by the non-biological family he has created over the years. He has shown tremendous patience with me and my challenges. My sangha has shown me the Grace and the Patience I've come to accept. There are so many gifts from those I call family. And to think when I was growing up it was all about the Brady Bunch!



I invite you to look at whom you call family whether or not it is biological. Look at how they show up for you and you them. If you choose, surround yourself with those that truly support you and allow the guilt to take an unaccompanied journey, preferably a one-way trip. Pay attention to what shows up in your life. This blog post has reminded me to do the same and to give thanks.

Love from the Family Guy,
Stephen

Reconciling Change and The Desire For Consistency

I think many of us have a desire for consistency in our lives. It's obvious when times are good that we want it to continue, be consistently good. The rub is that change happens much like the bumper sticker "Shift Happens". One of the only things truly consistent is change. Change can knock us out of that consistently good pattern to where we feel confused, lost, angry, lonely, sad, etc. We may began to feel that things are consistently bad and we hurt. The key is realizing that we are at choice. It's our resistance to change that is causing the suffering. This is where the practice of non-attachment would be a valuable tool. I don't mean to suggest that consistency is an obstacle in our personal growth. Consistency with one's word and deeds is worthy and necessary goal for example. I do believe however, that our desire for consistency can sometimes cause us to resist change and we suffer.

I believe there is a sub-component to consistency that can contribute to us being "stuck" and that is familiarity. We can be in an unhealthy situation such as a relationship, a job, etc. We may be smart enough to recognize this and even realize that the best thing would be to step out of the toxicity. Our fear of what that next step might look or feel like causes us to take comfort by retreating back to the familiarity of the situation. We know what to expect because it's...wait for it...consistent!

The video by Margaret Owens illustrates change and ends with a powerful song about accepting a "New Day". Catch this amazing singer/actress/songwriter @ The Center of Spiritual Living in Seattle on Aug 30th.



I felt compelled to address the topics of change and consistency as I'm struggling with decisions myself. One thing that I'm remembering is to be kind to myself and not to adhere to anyone else's timetable or agenda no matter how much I may respect or care for them. I'm clear that asking for prayer support is an essential component in my path and as Margaret Owens reminds me in the preceding video that God (Universe, Spirit, etc) can only do for me what it can do through me. I commit to staying open for my Greater Good to manifest.

Sitting in the "not knowing",
Stephen

Seeing Clearly Though The Storm

An interesting thing has begun to happen in my life as a result of writing posts for my blog, "A Journey of Remembering". Major shifts have started and they are shaking me to the core. It's as if my blog posts have been a potent prayer treatment! I admit I would have not posted anything if I knew this would be happening. Thank God for ignorance is all I have to say!

On Friday, July 3rd I posted my personal declaration of independence. The first declaration had to do with relationships. No sooner had I written it when I got a call from someone special in my life that tested what I had posted. Since the call, I have been called by Spirit to make some difficult decisions which will allow me to ultimately be ready to step into my Higher Good. The Higher Good would be a healthy, mutually loving relationship, one where I don't have to guess how the other feels, one where I am completely gifted with the return of physical and emotional equivalents to what I am willing to give. Since Friday afternoon, it's been a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes it's fine because I'm numbly coasting along and other times I'm in a heart wrenching free fall searching for a barf bag. This ride is in repetitious mode as it seems quite endless right now. Sorry for the next video but there will be no doubt that you get the point!



Yesterday I took myself to a good friend's 4th of July party on his boat. Once I got there I busied myself with some food preparation in lieu of having to talk about "how things are going". Guests started showing up and copious amounts of mango margaritas began to effortlessly flow with a healthy diversion ending up in my faux cocktail "glass" (read chic plastic ware). I was still pretty much "ok" emotionally. We all had a blast squirting super soakers at the Seattle "Ducks" tours (WW2 amphibious landing craft) full of tourists that seemed to cruise back and forth in an endless stream of noise and merry making. It was noticeably apparent we were having fun as we attracted some party people from other boats. One of these boat-hopping ladies and I began to talk and it was clear she was going through a tough time with a divorce. I realized that it was my gift to her and to myself to be present in all the noise and revelry and to really listen to her "story". I offered some words of wisdom (mind you...it was before too many libations had made a mark on me) about taking the time to visualize the next chapter of her life as she is in a powerful space. I described it much like a vacuum which is just waiting to be filled. You see, I believe the Universe abhors a vacuum (quantum physics 101) and will fill that space with whatever we create whether we are conscious of it or not. I invited her to be conscious, hence the visualization. Ok...so now I had at least become a new drinking buddy in her eyes, LOL! Seriously, there was a moment where I could see deeply into her soul and knew she "remembered". I thought about what a blessing the conversation was as I was reminding myself in the process. It's such a gift to be there for someone else, allowing the listener to step out of their own "stuff" for a while. Spirit can be very crafty at times. After the sun went down there was an awesome fireworks display over Lake Union. I took myself off the boat and sat on the dock to watch the show in the privacy of my own tears. You see, I began to view the fireworks as a metaphorically equivalent of my Greater Good yet to be. I was overcome with emotion...and I give "bad face" when I cry!

Today, I took myself to The Center For Spiritual Living in Seattle (CSL). I knew that my Spiritual posse was there. I arrived just before the first service was letting out. Immediately I was greeted with a loving friend who hugged me, listened to what I desired to have manifest in my life, and asked what he could "hold" for me in intention. Not too soon afterwards I was approached separately by a couple of wonderful ministers on staff who each bore witness to my challenge and were willing to hold that which I agreed would propel me to my Higher Good. I was reminded how loved I am and what a wonderous community I've surrounded myself with. I went to the 2nd service and had more love poured on me. Lo and behold the "talk" was about the Declaration of Independence and how that could show up in our own lives! It's as if the the Senior Minister had read my July 3rd blog even though I knew she hadn't! The music was also perfectly and divinely created through Jami Lula, Jojie Natividad, and Cindy Akana as if to support me personally. Yes, I was on the receiving end of a blessing bonanza...yee haw!

Later in the afternoon I attended a meeting called by the CSL Director of Music. He announced that he was resigning after 14 years of service to pursue his "Greater Good" of expanding his spiritual counseling business and leading workshops/doing speaking. I realized I was witnessing him stepping out in faith to pursue something that hadn't fully formed yet. What a powerful reminder that I was on the "right" path to my Good and to keep the courage to follow through whether or not I know what it will look like.

The wonderful, divinely inspired singer Margaret Owens acts and sings in the following video that reminds us of who we are. It starts off as her having the infamous parent/child meltdown but the song she sings afterwards could be a song one might sing to someone else or just listen for themselves. Margaret will be performing at The Center of Spiritual in Seattle on Aug 3oth. If you are in the area, give yourself a gift and go see her!



So, this weekend has the makings of a pivotal point in my path of remembrance. I've accepted the invitation to step out in courage to do the things that I need to which will allow the space for my Highest Good to manifest itself in my life. If there is anything going on in your life now that is calling you, whether it be whispering or screaming at you, I invite you to look at it. Sit with it for a bit and take the first step without waiting to figure it all out. Demonstrate what the act of Faith looks like. Go ahead, buckle up and be ready for your Highest Good to appear like the July 4th fireworks! It's your birthright!

Many blessings my fellow travelers!

Love,
Stephen

A Declaration of Independence

Tomorrow is July 4th and the day citizens of the US of A celebrate the Declaration of Independence. I started to think today about what my own personal Declaration of Independence would look like. My disclaimer is that it's more of a wishlist at this point but one has to begin somewhere.

One of the first things I think about is independence from anyone else for my happiness and security. When I think of a relationship I often imagine myself as a tall, solid tree (I know...here I go with the tree metaphors again...hey I live in the NW, ok!). I am standing next to another tall, solid tree. Our branches intertwine with each other and all sorts of life is supported by our interconnection. What is key is that we stand strong on our own and don't need each other to continue to exist. Our individual roots go deep and are fully formed. Our beauty is fully expressed individually. Our connection supports the higher good for both. Neither robs the other of their dignity or ever contributes to either feeling less.

I declare my independence from lack. I remember that the Universe is endless abundance. There is no "lack" in the mind of God. I commit to remembering this Truth when I'm feeling any kind of lack in finances, love, health, etc.

I declare my independence from anyone else's expectation of me. I commit to standing in my Truth and to not be swayed by others agenda.

I declare my independence from fear of failure. I remember that "failure" is a judgement and most likely one I have placed on myself as I'm my harshest critic. I remember that the act of trying is the gift whether I succeed or not.

I declare my independence from all that isn't supporting my "Highest Good", whatever that might be.

Another great video of acting and song by Margaret Owens. She wonders aloud why her neighbor doesn't make the choice to leave an abusive relationship all the while knowing that her own relationship isn't working. Margaret will be singing at The Center For Spiritual Living in Seattle on Aug 30th.



I'm sure there are other "declarations" I can make as I think about it more but this is a good start. This is the beginning of me seeking my good. I invite you to make your own list and pay attention to what comes up for you.

Happy Independence,
Stephen

Relaxing In The Midst of Chaos

So, the last post I wrote about was "Change - It Happens". This post is building upon that statement. The Universe is static so change is constant. Practicing the Buddhist concept of non-attachment is a priceless skill to master or at the very least to attempt. In this practice we are called to rest in the in-between state, the not knowing. I like to call it "sitting with it". I let it be and become like an observer. It doesn't mean I don't have feelings about it or try to squelch them. For example, if it's heartache, I let the ache happen, the tears flow, the nose run. At the same time I'm observing it and being gentle with myself. I try to lean into the fear, the dissappointment, the anger, the pain, the jealousy, whatever it may be instead of running away from it with some sort of addictive behavior. I've found that giving in to addictive behavior usually creates other things to deal with like a hangover for example. So, now I would have a horrendous headache on top of the raw emotions that never really went away! I am reminded that all the places where I don't feel good are actually an opportunity for growth (ok...no eye rolling!). I have to remind myself that reaching one's limit is not a punishment as I don't believe in a punishing God. Instead, I remember it's an opportunity for surrender, to face our fears, our "demons" and stop struggling. The saying "What you resist, persists" would apply here. I often visualize something I felt as a young boy when I was body surfing in the ocean. I saw where I could choose to rest calmly on the sandy ocean floor as the waves were beginning to churn above me much like a "stormy sea" metaphor or I could get caught up in the fray and quite possibly have the waves engulf me and slam me to the shoreline. I remember just lying on the floor of the ocean pondering that thought. So, as chaos shows up I choose to rest calmly on the "ocean floor" instead of the sea of turmoil above me. I'm not always successful but I keep practicing.

Here's another video from one of my favorite inspirational singers, Margaret Owens. This is from her "Seeking My Good" series. She starts the video discussing the uncomfortable task of divorce logistics with her soon to be ex-husband. The song she sings next is a beautiful illustration of going within, facing the fears, and trusting. For people that are in the Seattle area, Margaret will be performing at The Center of Spiritual Living in Seattle on Aug 30th.



As life's chaos shows up in your life...and it will unless you're an ascended master of sorts, practice sitting with the uncomfortableness, surrender to the feelings of fear, anger, sadness, jealousy, whatever. By surrender I don't mean act on them. I mean just allow yourself to feel and observe yourself as you are feeling them. The more you do this you may just see that they hold less and less power in your life which frees you to be more content and access the Love you desire. I am doing the same.

A poem by Rumi:

"One went to the door of the Beloved and
knocked. A voice asked, 'Who is there?'
He answered, 'It is I.'
The voice said, 'There is no room for Me and Thee.'
The door was shut.

After a year of solitude and deprivation he returned and knocked.
A voice from within asked, 'Who is there?'
The man said, 'It is Thee.'
The door was opened for him."


Honoring your courage and holding Loving Kindness for all,
Stephen

Change - It Happens!

I hear this statement a lot. If one asks me if I agree with it I will say yes without blinking. Now, if the question is "How do you react to change in your life?"...well, I have to think about that one. I think about in what areas of my life am I resistant to change and then ask myself why.

I grew up as an Army brat from the age of three. I moved constantly until I was 21 years of age. The experience afforded me a lot of gifts such as visiting other places in the world, meeting people from other states/countries, learning different customs/languages, eating different foods, making new friends, etc. Generally, I learned the art of adapting. I adapted to change. I expected it in my life. What I didn't realize was I ended up closing myself off intimately from others. This was especially true in situations of intimacy with a friend or a lover. I was unconsciously protecting myself from being hurt as the signals in my brain told me "things change" from living a life of constant "uprooting". I let people get to know me and I them but there was always something I kept to myself and wouldn't let anyone in to touch it. About six years ago someone very close to me shared with me his observation that I had a lot of people who thought they knew me but hardly any close friends that I could turn to in times of trouble, He commented how sad he felt it was. At first, I was in denial, strenuously trying to prove him wrong. I failed miserably at making my case. Eventually, I began to ponder how I could be known by so many yet not really "known" at all. As I sat with this new found "rawness" I realized I was the common denominator. I was responsible for my experience. I remembered my life traveling around and how that felt. I began to desperately think of any times I really let someone in. I realized that there were a couple times in my life where I had. It felt so good and a tad bit scary when it happened. Then I remembered how the rest of it began to unravel and thought about why. What I realized was to the degree I was opening up to someone was the degree of attachment I was feeling. The attachment became so strong that as the relationship changed I found it nearly impossible to adjust. The attachment trumped all the years I spent adapting growing up. It's as if the pendulum swung completely the other way.

I still deal with attachment issues today although I'm quicker to realize them as they began to show up than I was six years ago. I have some great friends that don't hesitate to remind me and I'm thankful! For me, I do meditations, visioning, prayer, and ask for prayer support. Asking for support was a big step for me but really opened the doors to greater, deeper connections with people. I took myself to a therapist who I worked with for almost a year. Man, I didn't know how much this boy could cry! I used to make bets with myself that I wouldn't "lose" it in the next session. At the time, I felt so much attachment to someone I thought I would break. I now know that attachment is the stumbling block when adapting to change in one's life. We can be attached to so many things; a person, a place, a job, a thing, etc. Many times we don't even realize how much we are attached. I often think of a strong, tall tree that has mastered the ability to sway with the winds of change whether it be a slight breeze or a full on storm. If this stately tree had not learned to bend in the storms it surely would have snapped.

The following is a great video acted and sung by Margaret Owens . I was blessed with the opportunity to sing backup for her in October of 2008. This video portrays really well how attachment can show up in our lives. I love the song she sings reminding us all to live "Big"



So, the nature of the Universe is change, It happens all around us, every moment. Everything is static. I invite you to look at if you are feeling attachment to something and then ask yourself why? You might be surprised at what comes up. I know I have been and still sometimes am. Most importantly, remember to love yourself through the process. Give yourself props! It takes courage to look at one's self.

Honoring your path,
Stephen

Remembering To Give Thanks

This last week has seen us lose some public figures that have been a part of our lives through the gifts they have brought with them and chose to share. They will be missed but their energy lives on and the mark they left will continue to touch our lives. This is true with everyone on this planet no matter how big or small their lives seemed to be. I believe that no "death" of the physical body is in vain. When one makes their transition, I think it's an opportunity for us to reflect on our own lives. What have we accomplished? Who have we touched? Who has touched us? For me, the first step in dealing with my sadness is to remember to give thanks. Give thanks for the people that are in my life, the people that aren't anymore, and every interaction I have had with someone no matter the outcome. I really let myself feel the gratitude and if the tears flow, so be it! Let me get all snotty with eyes red. They are tears of gratitude and they are powerful.

I remember the day my grandmother whom I loved dearly finally made her transition after a long battle with bone cancer. She had been resting at home with some hospice care so I had the opportunity to see her physically diminish as if her death was in slow motion. I remember her hanging on until the 1st of the new year so that my grandfather would not be affected by the loss of social security so soon. I came to the house and went back to the bedroom to pay my respects. I had never seen a deceased person other than in the paper or on screen. A calm came over me as I looked at her once piercing blue eyes that now were an opaque window to no where. I realized that this was just a body...a charade if you will. My grandmother had left and she was free...free from her pain of being older, from having cancer, from being angry, sad, anxious, etc. I wondered how much of that freedom could I experience and still be in my body on earth. I know my grandmother is still with me especially when times appear to be challenging. I'm always giving thanks that she was my grandmother!

This is video of a beautiful New Zealand singer by the name of Hayley Westenra singing Ave Maria, one of my Grandmother's favorite songs and sung at her memorial.



A few years ago there was a man that I didn't know very well but would see out and about on a regular basis. We had some of the same circle of friends. For some reason I found it difficult to maintain a conversation with him...as if I had to do all the talking (ok...some might say that's no challenge!). He was a very handsome guy and a lot of people wouldn't approach him. He kept close company with a couple of people on a regular basis. It happened that he didn't show up for work one day. There was no phone call to say he wouldn't be in which was unlike him. Finally, a friend showed up to his place and got no answer after knocking and ringing the bell. When the friend finally got inside he saw that he was dead. Apparently he had suffered a brain aneurysm and died on the spot. He was just beginning his 40s and seemingly very healthy. I had the opportunity to talk with a couple good friends of his afterwards. They told me that this man was so shy and thought that people might not like him. How many times have I felt that and how many times has that been misconstrued by others as my arrogance. I felt a sense of kindred ship that I wished I fostered when he was alive. His death touched me very deeply as it reminded me how many people I've not taken the time to get to know because it's inconvenient or too difficult. It got me to look at how I will let my first impression be the definitive reason why I may not pursue getting to know someone. It also reminded me to give thanks for all those people that are in my life and for all the gifts that have been given me.

Here are lyrics I wrote to a song that is yet to be sung. I wrote this not long after his death:

Remember

In the melody of a song I feel the love I forgot to touch.

In the eyes of a child I see all I am but forgot I was.

In the beauty of a sunset I see all my dreams I forgot I had.

I remember now, I remember now. I remember.

Chorus:

Everyday reminders...little look behinders, urging me on, losin' the blinders.

Here I am, face to face with all the love and all the grace.

This is the here, this is the now, this is the place.


People live and people die without anytime to say goodbye.

I take the time to sit, to feel, to cry without really facing why.

In the moment I see all I’ve not done passing me by like a river run.

I remember now, I remember now.

(Repeat Chorus)


This is a song from Secret Garden one of my favorite musical artists. This video has wonderful words and visuals to go with it illustrating how time is continual and life is cyclical by nature. From death comes rebirth much like the spring. So, I invite you to listen to this song and let it go deep. If the tears come, let them and give thanks!

With Love and Gratitude,
Stephen

What Gay Folks Bring To The Party - In Honor of Gay Pride

I started to chuckle to myself as I was typing the title to this post. I realized that the fact the word "Gay" was in the title would garner some extra hits to this blog once the "almighty" (no pun intended) search engines catch up to me! The truth of the matter is that we as a society are still titillated by all that is "gay". In fact, I will go out on a limb to say those that are repulsed by anything gay are the most fascinated. So, what I wanted to post about today, a day after many Gay Pride marches around the country, is what I feel gay people contribute to society.

I'm of the opinion that gay people many times play the role of a societal diplomat. They, in fact, often help foster dialog and understanding between heterosexuals. I've seen many times where once the insecurities are checked in at the door, heterosexual men and women have learned a lot about themselves and each other, i.e how to communicate better, cooperate more, etc from having spent time and fostering friendships with gay folks. Of course, the flip side is that gay people tend to learn more about themselves too. From a spiritual standpoint, I've always thought there was a reason why some folks identify as being gay and have felt they were born this way. I think it's all a part of a universal plan of teaching about unconditional love. It's a lesson that is taught and learned by gay people in a world where they are largely frowned upon. I've thought how ironic that Jesus taught about love and acceptance yet, more often than not, the institutions that have risen in his name seem to take great pride in excluding gay people. It seems to me that society is afraid of gay people perhaps because they mirror something back that they don't want to look at. I think this is a large reason why "gay marriage" is so hotly contested. If those that currently have the right to marry really looked at the their stewardship of the institution of marriage, they would see what a poor custodian they have been. Indeed, the heterosexual population has done more to harm marriage than gay people could possibly do. Heterosexuals have had such a head start it wouldn't even be a fair contest! I'm not advocating that gay people would do any better but I don't think they would take it for granted as much or be so cavalier about it due to the struggle for the right to marry. At this point, though I have to say that as gay marriage becomes legal in more states there will be a few "come to Jesus" moments for married gays when the realization sets in that you can't just up and begin a new "single" chapter without feeling it in the ole wallet!

I've attached a humorous video about what constitutes a "Christian" marriage since that is all too often the measuring stick being whacked against the knuckles of gay men and women. Hopefully, the humor speaks for itself and no one is too offended. Some offense is actually healthy though, LOL



The last video was from a Abraham-Hicks event (Abraham is a non-physical source energy that is translated by Esther Hicks) wherein a woman who identified herself as a lesbian activist asked Abraham about gay marriage and how to affect change. I think that this video is powerful as it addresses Issac Newton's 3rd law of "what you resist, persists" and the "law of attraction".




So, I invite you to resist less and live more....be the example you wish to promote. I know I'm rededicating myself to the practice.

Loving that we are all in this together,
Stephen

Humor...It's Part of The Journey

It is said that young children laugh as much as 100 to 200 times a day, compared to a large majority of adults who only get zero to several daily laughs. Yet laughter is good not only for the body but also for the soul and Spirit. It's interesting to me how people get serious when talking about spirituality or religion forgetting how good it is to laugh. It's all too often that humor is put out to pasture during "spiritual" discussion time. I believe that humor is a gift of Spirit. The physical act of laughter opens us up by bringing down our walls, allowing us to receive. I often find myself being overtly humorous around my spiritual community just as I would anywhere. I don't use humor that diminishes anyone but there are things that come out of my mouth that get some serious eyebrow raising going on! I'm sure some folks think me irreverent when I'm sharing some off-color observations. I often find that the folks I'm talking with recognize the truth in the observational humor though but choose not to deliver it themselves. Perhaps I am unconsciously elected to be the deliverer! Now, there's something to muse over. Anyhow, here's a favorite observation joke of mine:

HOW ENLIGHTENED ARE YOU?

IF....


If you can live without caffeine,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him or her,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender preference, or politics,

--Then you have almost reached the same level of spiritual development as your dog!


Years ago, about 1993, I met a very funny lady named Vanda Mikoloski. I had been doing a theatre show with her brother Pavel and met her out one night after one of the shows. Pavel and I had become fast friends and he insisted I needed to meet her. I had a great time hanging with Vanda that night. I just hung on and rode her wave of energy. It was a blast! Well...fast forward to 2008. Vanda had gone back to doing stand up comedy but now focusing on spirituality and religion. The Center of Spiritual Living in Seattle invited her to perform her show in the new Celebration Hall in the fall of 2008. Now, I had seen the posters for the show around the campus but it wasn't until I saw her that I realized I knew her! What a great night and a hilarious show it was! Vanda illustrates so perfectly for me how humor and spirituality are a team. She is living proof of the law of attraction and reminds me that some of the most spiritual people I know are indeed the funniest!

I've attached a video link below of an interview with Vanda and parts of her "Enlighten Up" show. This is not from her show I saw in Seattle but nonetheless you can see how she blends humor and spirituality.

Hopefully this will remind all of us to be our "funny" selves more often!

Let Spirit Create Through You

It's often said that Spirit or God is creation. That it's always creating to further expand itself. If it is true that we are manifestations of that one Spirit then we are creative beings by nature. I believe we are creating 24/7 whether we are conscious of it or not. So I feel the calling is to co-create with Spirit in all that we do. It's often easiest to co-create with something that you enjoy. My co-creating I enjoy the most continues to be through music but I've dabbled in other forms of expression such as poetry. I once participated in a short workshop where the facilitator guided us through a meditation. As we felt ready we started writing down what we were feeling/seeing in our meditation in the form of a poem. It was actually quite fun. It was powerful to read one's own poem(s) out loud to the group and to hear others read theirs.

Here are a couple of my largely unedited poems that came out of the workshop:

My Life

My life is like a journey through the forest.

Sometimes it’s a dark and scary trek amid the thicket deep,

Other times it’s the elation of reaching a glade, safe and sweet.

I’m challenged to meld the two like water and ice.

Much like myself, they are one of the same and forever changing,

My hope stays eternal and carries me on like a dear friend, forever strong.


My Love

My love crests like a majestic wave I’m riding a top.

Love rolls over and into itself,

Slamming me to its salty ocean floor,

Or guiding me to its safe waters and welcoming shore.

Like the next wave that doesn’t stop,

Love comes back and lifts me up,

To more than I had felt,

More than I had seen,

And more than I had hoped.


So, I invite you to go out and co-create with Spirit, the Universe, God, whatever you call "it". Start with something you enjoy doing...something that comes easy to you. Pay attention to how it feels and how people respond. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Blessings on your adventure called creation ,
Stephen