The Importance of Family

First off I want to state my belief that "family" is not just biological. Family can come in all forms. I have many friends that have created their own family whether it be because they are estranged from the biological relatives, there are no living relatives, they are adopted, or they just chose to expand their "family" regardless of a "blood" connection. I have an extended family of individuals I have known as a group since 2004. We meet in our "sangha" two times a month. We share what is going on with each other and ask for prayer support if we feel we need it. It is a sacred and comfortable environment. I am also close to my immediate family consisting of my mother, father, and sister. I am in contact with my uncle and aunt, cousins, nieces, and nephews. The wonderful thing about my sangha is that it doesn't come along with years of biological family dynamics. Some of these dynamics can be guilt, expectations, duty, etc. Now, I must say that I have great parents that have supported me in many ways. They are human and have their issues like all of us. What I never cease to marvel at is how I can still at times get caught up in their dynamics. When this happens I head straight to about 15 years old, directly pass "Go" and there ain't no $200 to collect! I've seen it happen with my friends and their families too. I confess that I like it much better when it happens to them though! I like to quote Ram Das, a Jewish mystic who said something to the effect: "If you think you're spiritually evolved, spend a week with your family". I'm convinced that should be a bumper stick if it isn't already!

Here is video of my mom and dad at my cousins house Christmas Day 2006. It clearly demonstrates their dynamic. They were not aware I was filming even though I was blatantly obvious. It starts off awfully slow but wait for the end near the five minute mark...it's worth it! I titled it "Everybody Loves Raymond Xmas 2006".



I think there are times in our life where we connect with a person very deeply. It often times isn't a romantic thing (though it can be...God willing, LOL). We feel as if we've known them before and we often say "You feel like family to me". If both choose then a "family" is begun. Perhaps we meet some more folks where there is that mutual connection and then the family is extended. Often times the feelings of estrangement result in the creation of new families. I've seen this many times and it is powerful. Holidays can bring this about as well. I know many people that open their homes up to others during Thanksgiving and Christmas on a regular basis. My grandparents were like that 24/7, all year long. I had so many people that I swore were my relatives growing up because of it. My grandmother never met a stranger. She was/is a powerful influence on me.

A "family" can support us in times of struggle. They can teach us love, compassion, patience, creation of boundaries, integrity, commitment,forgiveness, etc. They remind us of our connection to each other as humans and that we are not alone. My sister and I are particularly close although we live half way across the country from each other. She has taught me so much and continues to do so even though I'm the older brother by five years. She has taught me the importance of stepping out in faith and living in integrity. My mom and dad have shown me unconditional love that has brought me to tears. I have a close friend who has reminded me the importance of family by the non-biological family he has created over the years. He has shown tremendous patience with me and my challenges. My sangha has shown me the Grace and the Patience I've come to accept. There are so many gifts from those I call family. And to think when I was growing up it was all about the Brady Bunch!



I invite you to look at whom you call family whether or not it is biological. Look at how they show up for you and you them. If you choose, surround yourself with those that truly support you and allow the guilt to take an unaccompanied journey, preferably a one-way trip. Pay attention to what shows up in your life. This blog post has reminded me to do the same and to give thanks.

Love from the Family Guy,
Stephen