Soulmates - What is it all about?

Lately, I've been thinking about the people in my life that have touched me and continue to do so. Some of these people have had profound affects on me. I decided to post something about my current understanding of the idea of soulmates.

I can remember as long back as my teenage years believing in the existence of soulmates. The very word soulmate stirs something deep and eternal in me. Lately, I stumbled upon a book "Destiny of Souls" which explains more in depth about soulmates and piggybacks on the book "Journey of Souls", both written by Michael Newton, PH.D. In both of these books, Michael Newton takes his clients back into past events through hypnotherapy. What he discovered was a consistency among his clients of experiences on the spiritual plane, the time between lives here on earth. On this plane of existence there exists soulmates just as there does on earth. Soulmate doesn't always mean a relationship of romantic love. It can be one of a parent, sibling, friend..even a perfect stranger you never see again but were left with something that you needed to experience to facilitate you getting "unstuck". As Michael explains, there are different classifications of soulmates. He developed the following classifications illustrated in his book "Destiny of Souls" based on his many years of exposure to souls in the spirit world. I've recapped them below.

Primary Soulmates: These are soulmates that are more often than not closely bonded partners. The partnership may be a spouse, sibling, best friend, or parent. No other soul is more important to us than a primary soulmate. One feels their own existence enriched beyond measure when with their primary soulmate.

Companion Soulmates: These are souls from our primary cluster group on the spiritual plane. They are our soul companions. The differences and talents compliment ours. Within this cluster group there is usually an inner circle of souls who are especially close to us and play important support roles in our lives. We do the same for them.

Affiliated Souls: This pertains to members of secondary groups outside our own primary cluster but located in the same general spiritual vicinity. Certain affiliated souls in other groups may be selected to work with us and with whom we come to know over many lives. Others may only cross our path briefly. Here is an example from "Destiny of Souls":

I was walking alone on a beach, totally devastated after being fired from my job. A man appeared and we struck up a conversation. I did not know him and was never to see him again in that life. But that afternoon he came up to me with ease and we talked. I felt myself unloading my problems on this stranger. He calmed me down and gave me greater perspective of my job situation. After about an hour he was gone. Now I see he was an acquaintance in the spirit world from another group. It was no accident we bumped into each other that day. He was sent to me.

I think most people can identify soul connections. I also believe that one can identify their own primary soulmate if they've met them in this current incarnation. I know I can and have. First off, I believe there is always a mental connection of one sort or the other with a soulmate, no matter the role they play. I believe if the role being played is that of a romantic partner then it starts with a friendship that has caught fire. I don't believe that a deep love can thrive without an abiding friendship. Infatuation is different and comes from a superficial area where one has nagging doubts about whether the connection has any deep meaning. Intimacy suffers without trust and love cannot grow. Love is the acceptance of all the imperfections of our partners.

I know that I've equated love with happiness. I'm reminded that happiness is a state of mind. It has to develop within me and not be dependent on anyone else. Love takes work and requires continual maintenance and mindfulness. Too many times I've seen where people have ended relationships because they've became "hard". It's quite possible to have met one's primary soulmate in the arena of love only to have let it go because we found it too difficult to "tend to the garden". Sometimes we don't meet our primary soulmate until later in life. Perhaps we needed to grow on our own. I think this has been true with me.

I think we learn valuable lessons from broken relationships. I've begun to liberate myself from the sadness of not finding the "right" love by understanding that I may be here to learn other lessons. At the very least, I believe there have been lessons that I needed to learn first. I've never been one to connect with someone I have no feelings for just so that I'm not alone. That has always struck me as a recipe for more loneliness. There is a line from a song that goes like this: "Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe". That is what it reminds me of...kind of like love at any price. I believe if one's soulmate is to appear then he/she will and most often when one doesn't expect it. It's kind of a tricky dance of being awake and aware but not obsessed with the possibility, after all "a watched pot never boils".

I believe I've met one or two primary soulmates. I believe there was romantic love in some cases but the timing was not conducive to that. What did happen was I learned lessons about myself that propelled me forward. One of the most valuable lessons is to be the love that I desire...indeed be all the qualities of another I desire. This has truly been a gift.

If you'd like to read more about soulmates and much more about case studies of lives between lives then I invite you to read "Destiny of Souls" and "Journey of Souls". You can order them from this blog by clicking on the titles above which will take you to my Amazon store where you can order them. It doesn't matter whether or not you believe in the validity of any of it because it is a fascinating read regardless.

I will leave you with this beautiful song by Dead Can Dance called "Sanvean" (I am your shadow). It shows the innate beauty of life and what keeps me hopeful.

Peace and Love,
Stephen