Remembering To Give Thanks

This last week has seen us lose some public figures that have been a part of our lives through the gifts they have brought with them and chose to share. They will be missed but their energy lives on and the mark they left will continue to touch our lives. This is true with everyone on this planet no matter how big or small their lives seemed to be. I believe that no "death" of the physical body is in vain. When one makes their transition, I think it's an opportunity for us to reflect on our own lives. What have we accomplished? Who have we touched? Who has touched us? For me, the first step in dealing with my sadness is to remember to give thanks. Give thanks for the people that are in my life, the people that aren't anymore, and every interaction I have had with someone no matter the outcome. I really let myself feel the gratitude and if the tears flow, so be it! Let me get all snotty with eyes red. They are tears of gratitude and they are powerful.

I remember the day my grandmother whom I loved dearly finally made her transition after a long battle with bone cancer. She had been resting at home with some hospice care so I had the opportunity to see her physically diminish as if her death was in slow motion. I remember her hanging on until the 1st of the new year so that my grandfather would not be affected by the loss of social security so soon. I came to the house and went back to the bedroom to pay my respects. I had never seen a deceased person other than in the paper or on screen. A calm came over me as I looked at her once piercing blue eyes that now were an opaque window to no where. I realized that this was just a body...a charade if you will. My grandmother had left and she was free...free from her pain of being older, from having cancer, from being angry, sad, anxious, etc. I wondered how much of that freedom could I experience and still be in my body on earth. I know my grandmother is still with me especially when times appear to be challenging. I'm always giving thanks that she was my grandmother!

This is video of a beautiful New Zealand singer by the name of Hayley Westenra singing Ave Maria, one of my Grandmother's favorite songs and sung at her memorial.



A few years ago there was a man that I didn't know very well but would see out and about on a regular basis. We had some of the same circle of friends. For some reason I found it difficult to maintain a conversation with him...as if I had to do all the talking (ok...some might say that's no challenge!). He was a very handsome guy and a lot of people wouldn't approach him. He kept close company with a couple of people on a regular basis. It happened that he didn't show up for work one day. There was no phone call to say he wouldn't be in which was unlike him. Finally, a friend showed up to his place and got no answer after knocking and ringing the bell. When the friend finally got inside he saw that he was dead. Apparently he had suffered a brain aneurysm and died on the spot. He was just beginning his 40s and seemingly very healthy. I had the opportunity to talk with a couple good friends of his afterwards. They told me that this man was so shy and thought that people might not like him. How many times have I felt that and how many times has that been misconstrued by others as my arrogance. I felt a sense of kindred ship that I wished I fostered when he was alive. His death touched me very deeply as it reminded me how many people I've not taken the time to get to know because it's inconvenient or too difficult. It got me to look at how I will let my first impression be the definitive reason why I may not pursue getting to know someone. It also reminded me to give thanks for all those people that are in my life and for all the gifts that have been given me.

Here are lyrics I wrote to a song that is yet to be sung. I wrote this not long after his death:

Remember

In the melody of a song I feel the love I forgot to touch.

In the eyes of a child I see all I am but forgot I was.

In the beauty of a sunset I see all my dreams I forgot I had.

I remember now, I remember now. I remember.

Chorus:

Everyday reminders...little look behinders, urging me on, losin' the blinders.

Here I am, face to face with all the love and all the grace.

This is the here, this is the now, this is the place.


People live and people die without anytime to say goodbye.

I take the time to sit, to feel, to cry without really facing why.

In the moment I see all I’ve not done passing me by like a river run.

I remember now, I remember now.

(Repeat Chorus)


This is a song from Secret Garden one of my favorite musical artists. This video has wonderful words and visuals to go with it illustrating how time is continual and life is cyclical by nature. From death comes rebirth much like the spring. So, I invite you to listen to this song and let it go deep. If the tears come, let them and give thanks!

With Love and Gratitude,
Stephen